From that moment I laid eyes on Scarlett, my world changed. I suddenly felt purpose and life didn't look the same as it did before. Scarlett is 21 months old now.
How has life changed for me since becoming a mother?
Well, in every way possible. I really didn't know I wanted or needed this in my life. Now, instead of thinking of myself, I think of Scarlett first. I wake up to her voice calling me every morning and she's the last thing I check on before I fall asleep at night. I can't workout in my living-room without a small person sitting on my back. I have to feed someone else before I feed my own grumbling stomach. Instead of worrying about what I am going to do on Friday night, I worry if I'm raising Scarlett to be a good, loving person. I tend to throw on boots instead of heels at the thoughts of lugging a 20+ pound child around, or unloading strollers & carseats. I can't just go out to eat or hang out with friends anymore without planning for a sitter or coordinating with Ty. My house is never put together like it used to be. It has baby dolls and books scattered from her room to the living room. My day revolves around Scarlett. I have to plan the things that I want to accomplish around her.
Truth: your life will change dramatically when you become a parent.
It's remarkable how quickly I adjusted and it became the norm. Now, when I'm without Scarlett, I feel lost. I find myself opening her car door to unload her before realizing she's at home with Daddy.
A lot of times, I think people envision motherhood as "the end" of a lot of things. Once you have kids, say good-bye to sleep, style and say hello to under-eye circles and sweatpants. While it is true that I did say good-bye to sleep for a very long while, I didn't turn into a frumpy old woman who sits around the house eating junk food, depressed. (Okay, I do eat junk food)..... Some think that we sit on the couch painting our toe nails and watch soap operas all day. We never get dressed and our biggest accomplishment is grocery shopping. I can see why non-parents may have stereo types about stay at home moms. This is just an uneducated view. Usually people who don't have children or don't stay home with their children are the ones who perceive this as reality.
Can I just say, before Scarlett was born, I was a 40+ hour banker. I have also worked in customer service, helped open a new business, and even worked at a junk yard hauling tires into a trailer truck, up to my thighs in mud. I have never had a job that was as demanding as being a stay-at-home mother. This does not mean I dislike it. In fact, I love raising Scarlett.
Most of the stay at home mothers that I know are the hardest working women out there. The work they do is full-time, non stop with no breaks, besides an occasional nap when they get to pee or shower. And even though it's not always easy, they love it because they are raising their babies, small humans that will one day be the next generation. The only pay that they receive, is the satisfaction of watching them grow. By no means, is this job a burden and anyone who feels like that, should re-evaluate life. Do I get stressed and overwhelmed? Of course! There are days when I need two coffees just to get out of bed and the thought of laundry or making dinner makes me want to pluck my eye balls out. Haha.
I wish that I was as light-hearted and calm as Casey Wiegand. Her outlook on motherhood inspires me daily! But the truth is, I'm not. I have days that I tell Ty, "I need a break. I need to get out of this house by myself." And that's just what I do. I take some me time at the gym or go out with a friend.
Being a mother takes a lot of balance and practice.
The beauty of it is, God entrusted us with these little humans and I'd say that is a pretty huge responsibility.
To be honest, motherhood has changed me for the better in a thousand ways. It has taught me patience, of which I had none, (ask Ty). It has helped me overcome many hard days. Scarlett's face is, hands down, the anecdote to any ailing! Motherhood has shown me how to multi-task. I can now get dressed, serve breakfast, pack a suitcase for two all while changing a diaper, throwing a few curls in my hair & posting a new blog post. I, without a doubt, love stronger than ever before. I see things clearer and I am careful with my intentions. I am a heck of a lot wiser, too. Thank God!
There was a time when I would say to Ty, "I need something more in my life. I need purpose besides raising babies." And in all fairness, when Scarlett is grown and off to school, where will I be? What will fulfill me when my children are grown? I struggled with this for awhile. Thinking maybe I should be in school again. Maybe I should be trying to finish my book or get a part time job. Financially, yes, maybe I should and maybe I will. But in reality, no job, or career or even published book can define me and my importance. God made me for a reason. Right now, my purpose is Scarlett. That is enough. I have faith that God will help me act out my purpose in time. Ty works extremely hard so that I can stay home and raise our little girl. I am so thankful for that.
Since I've become a mother, I am a hundred times happier. She fulfills me in so many wonderful ways. Why do you think women have more than one child? Don't you think that if it was so dreadful that they would get fixed after the experience of having one? The reason is because, despite the pain of childbirth, sleepless nights, crying, tantrums, dirty diapers, and life adjustment, being a mother is probably the most wonderful gift God ever gave women. Pure love.
I use this technique when I feel like I'm walking a fine line and losing patience.
Next time your baby/child is having a melt-down or calling your name for the hundredth time and you feel like asking yourself why on earth you chose motherhood?! Think about this: If she/he was gone tomorrow, vanished from your world, how would you feel? What would you do differently right now, in this moment, if you knew this was your last day with them? Your answer to this should be how we treat our babies/children every day. It's that important. I am a huge believer that a person's childhood impacts them forever. Our job is not only to make sure they are healthy and safe, but that they feel loved unconditionally. Being "Mama" is hard work. I won't lie.
But, I don't think there is anything greater than looking down at your little person and knowing they desperately need you and love you unconditionally.
Rolled Up Pretty