Dear Ty.

Copyright © 2013

Dear Ty,


Drowning....


I sometimes feel like that about my life before I met you.
Those days were hard,
Tearful.

I felt as though I was drunk, spinning around wildly with no intention of stopping. Every turn taking me further away from the light.
Bitter and angry.
Not knowing how I had gotten to that place.

I think I asked God a million times why?
I think I prayed a thousand times for it to go away.
Drowning.
It's a word I use often when I describe that time in my life.

It felt that way.

Like no matter how hard I tried, the water kept hitting my face and pushing me down.
Like I couldn't catch my breath.
Like the more I struggled to reach the top for a breath of air, the faster I sank.
I couldn't hold on, so I began to just...let go....
Free falling down into that murky water.
I watched myself fade...


And just as I felt I was about to hit the bottom, just when I had given up hope, just as I was about to close my heart for good,
two strong arms reached down and pulled me up.
They wrapped around me and held my cold, half-damaged body against theirs.
I opened my eyes,

And there you were.
The answer to my every prayer.
What I had been unknowingly searching for for years.

I know it seems rather dramatic to say that you saved me. 



But truly, you saved me.


I find it completely surreal to think that we found each other in this chaotic, mess of a world.
But I know there was help in bringing us together.
With every choice bringing us in a different direction, I realize that all of the bad things that have come my way, no longer matter. Those difficult times swung me around like a rag doll, not caring if I was on my knees already.

Dear Ty, my lover, my rescuer, my heart, my everything.
I want you more than I have ever wanted anything.

The love I feel for you makes my heart beat faster every time I think of our first kiss.
It makes me burn with passion when I think of you telling me you'd wait forever.
It fills my eyes with tears when I think how you unconditionally love me....

This IS the love of a lifetime. I'm so in love still.
The best part is, I know you are here to stay...the day is coming quickly. I'm savoring how I feel in this moment. And yet, I know the best is yet to come.

.............................6/21/2013 

Graphic Tees.

 This Mother's Day, we just hung out all day in cozy clothes. I thought our graphic tees were just perfect for a lazy day... And the photos were just too cute not to share! 

Born to Rock tee: ForeverXXI

Tiger tee: Target

Links
WIWW
Rolled Up Pretty
Look What I Got
Passion for Fashion
Best Of Friday

Things I'm Loving.

Warm sunny days in New York.

The way Scarlett says "baby soup" (bathing suit) Just too cute to correct.

The smell of sun tan lotion on our skin.

Iced Tea with LOTS of ice & lemon.

Opening the mail to find wedding response cards.

Fresh flowers in the house.

Pool days.

Outdoor Dining.

Listening to Scarlett in the back seat, sing along with me to the radio.

Ty.  

My new living room rug. (check back this week for a living room post)

Trips to the greenhouse.

Saltwater Sandals.

"Come on, Mama!" 

Scarlett's Whimsical 2nd Birthday

This year, I really didn't want to do a big party like I threw last year. I just wanted to have family, a couple of kids and a cookout to celebrate Scarlett turning two. Soooo, that's exactly what we did. Of course, I'm a sucker for small details and small party or not, I wanted some cute decor and a couple of fun activities. 

I decided I would throw her a whimsical party with white bunnies, fresh flowers, spring colors and some flowing fabrics. I picked a couple of spring activities, (planting spring seeds and chalk fun) that I will go into detail about in later posts, But the real hit of the party was the gift Ty and I bought Scarlett. We bought her a water/sand table that I almost didn't get her since I wasn't sure if she would like it. I'm glad I did! We weren't planning on bringing it out until present time, but it was just too nice of a day to not include some water! Good decision.....The kids spent the majority of the time at that little table, occasionally stopping for cupcakes or food. 

Scarlett was thrilled with everything. Overwhelmed, even. Our family and friends gave her wonderful gifts. She hasn't even gotten through all of them yet! They will keep her busy for quite some time! I feel so lucky to have such a loving family that made it all the way from Massachusetts to celebrate with us. And for great new friends that we've met here. The best part of the party.....For me, it was when Scarlett smiled as we sang Happy Birthday to her and then, she pursed her little lips together and blew out her candle for the very first time.....I think I may have gotten a little teary. I can't believe my baby is 2!! We took so many photos that I was completely overwhelmed with sorting through them. But I think I picked a good variety to show you how much fun we had this weekend! 

Bunny Cupcake toppers HERE

Dream Catcher: Wildflower Dream Catchers

Links:
Misc Monday
Mon Meet Up
Ivy & Elephants

Slow It Down.

Between sending out our wedding invitations, traveling back to Massachusetts to sell my house, Walking the March of Dimes and trying to bring some spring into our home, it's been a busy weekend. That seems to be the new norm for us. But no matter how busy it is, there is always time for ice cream. Which is exactly what we did on Sunday to slow down. 

Sometimes it's hard to slow down from the pressures of life. 

But it's necessary. And when you do, you start to enjoy the little things. 

The little things like....Scarlett had her first ice cream cone. Well, it wasn't her first but it was the first cone that she could hold all by herself. That counts. I've been doing a little gardening. This is a whole new experience for me. (Pics to come) But I have a love for flowers so I figured why not? Besides a sudden bought of allergies, it's been fun going to the nurseries and picking out plants and flowers. I've never had allergies and don't know why they've all of a sudden decided to come on, but they are not fun! It makes me think about little things that people take for granted. To go outside and enjoy spring without having to take a Claritin is something I took for granted. It reminds me to be thankful for all the little things that I don't even think about. 

Selling my first home was a piece of cake. We decided that it needed to be done since we never used it. It showed 6 times and sold in one week. As I walked through for the final time, I had a rush of emotions come over me. I'm not good with letting go. Every little detail holds a place inside of me. Even if they aren't special memories, I still feel like I need them. I thought about how we brought Scarlett home from the hospital to that house. I thought about how we mulched the gardens and mowed the grass. How I painted every wall in that house and how I bought it all on my own. 

But as soon as I closed the door and walked down those steps, I thought about how I'm going home to create new memories in our New York house. I decided that it wasn't letting go, but merely moving on. Simple.

And I'm pretty sure that's why I came back to New York in a big hurry to garden and buy pretty things for our home. 

Scarlett's bow headband:c/o  Little Gems Creations

Artwork waiting to be hung.

 Paper cups keep her busy.

A little grocery shopping in our pajamas...why not?

Links:
Weekend Shenanigans
Ivy & Elephants

Around Here...

Things are pretty happy around here lately. 

Warm weather arriving, the sound of Scarlett playing, Ty cooking on the grill right outside our screened in porch and me, sitting here taking in the smell of grilled zucchini as warm air pours in through the windows. Lovely. If you know me, you know that I like to keep busy. I get bored easily. I like to have things going on all the time. I think it distracts me from knowing that I no longer work. This summer might prove me wrong...Last weekend we spent our last relaxing weekend until August!

 We are busy every. single. weekend. until August!!

No joke.

I was looking at my calendar with Ty the other night and it will definitely be an interesting summer. I'm sure it will go by in the blink of an eye, as does everything when lots of things are going on. Of course, it's all fun stuff. Not only am I getting married this summer, but one of my bridesmaids is getting married in August and my mother announced a couple weeks ago, that she will be getting married again in September! So, needless to say, we'll all be busy but I'm so happy that love is in the air!!

My wedding shower was this weekend and it was really nice that my friends and family all got together for me. We laughed a lot. The best!! It made me miss my friends from Massachusetts.

(an unfinished living room)

I'm having fun sprucing up our new home with decor. We moved in here this past December but the only room that is really complete is Scarlett's. I hope to have some Home Tour posts up soon. Things take time and money. Right now, our money is busy in wedding vendor's pockets. I still think often, why didn't we elope? It was our first choice but things didn't end up going that way. Mostly because we didn't want Scarlett flying without us while we stayed on our honeymoon. I love planning a great party or someone else's wedding, but when it's your own wedding, it's mostly just pressure to get it done.

Speaking of parties, I'm planning a small get together for Scarlett's 2nd birthday on May 4th. Nothing like last year's hurrah. Just some food, some decorations, family & a couple of Scarlett's friends.

I'm just really happy with life right now. That's the way it should be, right?

Sometimes that scares me. But not enough to deter me from enjoying it. 

(I love that there is a single letter S in the background of this photo.)

Around here, Ty has been wonderful. When isn't he? Awhile back I was feeling very alone, not just physically but emotionally. Ty would go to work, come home just to leave for fire fighting calls, go to the gym and by the time he got home, the last couple hours of his day were spent with Scarlett before she went to bed. Not much "us" time. I finally decided to tell him how I was feeling. Within minutes of telling him, he began fixing things. I love that he takes my feelings so seriously.

Ty loves fire fighting. It's something he enjoys. But he decided to put a hold on it so that he can be home more. This sacrifice that he made for me makes me very grateful to have such a great man. We have started going to the gym together more. Or he takes Scarlett with him to the gym so I can do grocery shopping without a toddler who refuses to sit in the cart...which by the way, is a vacation in itself! Ha ha.

With Ty, love is easy. I know that the man I will be marrying in two months (EEEK) is in it for the long haul. I can't tell you how many times he has proved to me that he will love me through the good and the bad. Because let's be honest, I'm not the easiest person to live with ;) He loves me just the same.

I feel lucky. Everyday. 
Hoping things are going well with you, too!!

PS. I was all smiles this morning when I ran across Babble's 10 Must-Read Mom Blogs with Style and who do I see? Miss Scarlett and I.....check it out and other style savvy bloggers here.

links:
Misc Monday

Covered In Grace