Today was another day.
Of Breakfast....Of laundry & errands.
Of party planning & shopping.
Of spending lovely time with Baby Scarlett.
As I walked with Scarlett through our New York neighborhood on a very lovely day,
I looked down at my baby who is now a big 10 month old.
I watched her screech and talk of baby babbles.
Her little face so animated. So cute.
She is growing up fast.
I began thinking about who she would be.
What kind of a person she would become?
Children are more advanced than we sometimes think.
They are extremely smart in their simplicity.
A person's childhood is massively important in who they become.
What they learn, how they learn.
It molds who they will be as an adult.
I want Scarlett to be a beautiful person. Inside.
I want her to be a kind person who is good to others.
I want her to know what is really meaningful in life.
If I want her to be a good person, I need to start now.
I started to think about how I can raise her so that she understands what is really important in life and what is only artificial. I started this list of things that I want to do for Scarlett.
A memory list of all the things that I want to teach my baby.
When I got home from our walk, I wrote them down.
I am in charge of this small life.
I want to make sure she has the chance to be the best person she can be.
My Scarlett List:
1) Do good for Others. On holidays, Scarlett will get some gifts. But we will also buy toys, food or clothes together & bring them to a charity. Maybe do a Secret Santa for a child in need. Talk to her about how others are not as fortunate and that we need to help when we can.
2) Show her love. Every day, every moment. Showing her love will help her express love. I will not stop telling her I love her every. single. day. I will tell her that love is the most important thing in this life. Not money, not material things. Just love. Love for herself, God and others.
3) Be careful with my words & actions. Children are smart. Scarlett will pick up on how I treat others: Ty, my family, my friends. She will hear what I say & this will impact her. I will treat others how I want her to treat people in the future.
An example: The other day, Ty and I were goofing around. He squeezed my side or something & I playfully yelled at him to stop. Scarlett, at 10 months old, looks over at me and gave me a, "Are you okay?" look. She could sense that my tone was loud and she was worried, scared. I had to go over to her and tell her it's okay. Mommy & Daddy were just playing. But this shows how in tune, even babies are to what is going on around them.
4) Talk to her. I will talk to her about everything. I will be honest with her. And if she asks me questions, I will answer her. Ty has a cousin who has a little girl. She doesn't baby talk to her daughter. She speaks to her like an adult. She explains things to her as she would anyone else. Her daughter is a very smart little girl. I think she has the right idea with this approach.
5) Teach her good values. I will explain to her that she should be kind to everyone. That everyone is different but God made us all special in our own way. I will tell her that some people are cruel. And that others might not always be nice to her. But we have to be an example. Not to worry too much about them, But if she ever feels hurt, to come to me. When she is older, I will tell her my stories as examples.
6) I will discipline her. I know that being a mother isn't always a bowl of sunshine. Some days are really hard. There are going to be times when Scarlett makes mistakes or tests me or tests herself. She can't be the best person that she can be without discipline. I promise I will be there for her by setting rules and consequences. Make sure she understands the meaning of respect.
7) Give her some Religious Exposure. I want Scarlett to know about God and have exposure to christianity so that when she is older, she can decide for herself about God. She can take her experiences and what she's learned and put them together. I won't have to force religion on her. I will only show her what I feel and how I believe and let her make those connections. I will pray with her every night and bring her to church whenever I can.
8) Teach her to strive. I want Scarlett to do the very best that she can. I don't care if her life goal is to be a Doctor or to be a waitress. But whatever she wants to do, I want her to get the chance to do it. I will help her with her school work, I will tell her she can no matter what. I will save money for her so she can go to college if she wishes to. I will teach her the value of money. Maybe let her get a job when she's old enough or pay her an allowance if she volunteers somewhere.
9) I will give her choices. Whenever I can. I will let her choose. Soccer or ballet. I will let her choose an outfit I put together or a mismatched one that she picked. University or Community College. I think it's important for them to learn decision making, even if they make the wrong choice once in awhile. You can't learn about life if you aren't given choices.
10) Last, I will be there for her. No matter what. I will always be there for my baby girl. No matter if she lets me down, makes bad decisions, goes through a rebellious phase, or just needs someone to cry with. I will be there for her no matter if she is 4, 16, or 35. I will tell her that she can come to me with any problem. No matter how wrong or bad the problem may be, I won't punish her for telling me. If it is truly on her heart, she can come to me. I will listen. I will give her space. I will give her advice. I will comfort her. I will cry with her. I will hold her.
I will be her mother.