Thursday, March 26, 2020


Ok so we aren't "technically" quarantined....but it sure as heck feels like it, doesn't it??
This week was the first week that San Antonio put us on "Stay At Home" orders.

I went out away before this whole ordeal and bought a large freezer, stocked up on all household and food needs. Not because I was afraid of the virus, which is certainly scary enough on it's own, but because I was afraid people would panic. And I was spot on to do so. It came in handy as we now aren't going crazy looking for frozen foods, toilet paper and baby's unreal. I like to think that I have good intuition because a lot of my gut feelings are often right. I didn't announce the fact that I was going to Costco to stock up 2 weeks before this hit. Even Trump was saying, "It'll pass in a few days" and "the flu is just as bad etc..." But something told me it would be a bit longer than that. Thankfully, I'm glad I didn't listen. Now we can stay at home as long as possible before going out to the panic-riddled grocery stores.

When this all began, I was strangely calm and seemed to be optimistic that things would all work out. I still am...however, what chaos can unwind in a week's time!! Here in San Antonio, we are now on "stay at home" orders during this Coronavirus craziness. I for one, think every city and every state should be as well...that would knock this thing out quicker. The people who aren't taking this seriously and are walking around like nothing is going on, taking vacations and doing unnecessary errands are making us all suffer longer. So much is at stake for all of us.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep or the fact that I've pretty much been in the house for 2 months straight already since the baby was born end of January, but I'm starting to feel cooped up. I did not expect Vera's first couple months of life to be like this. I am thanking my lucky stars that I had her before all of this and my heart goes out to those having babies during this crazy time! It is absolutely sickening to me that they are not allowing a spouse in the labor and delivery room. It makes zero sense. I can go on and on about the reasons for that but it's not why I'm writing tonight......
2020 is NOT turning out the way I anticipated it would. And then to add insult to injury, Tom Brady left the Patriots...I don't even know how to begin dealing with that. He's been playing for them as long as I've been watching football!! Sigh. I guess not my biggest problem right now.

I already knew that I am not the type of person who does well as a stay at home mom. I've been down that road before. These mandatory weeks inside are adding to my FOMO. I am NOT cut out for this teacher, cook, maid, stay-at-home mom stuff. Monday was a really hard day. Baby wasn't sleeping at all...not even naps. Thank you growth spurt. Scarlett was asking me how to do her school work (which was a day long event to even figure out how to get into the systems) and Maxwell played on his ipad for way too long so that I could help Scarlett with school and maybe eat breakfast myself. Bad news just kept pouring in from all avenues. Mail, e-mail, phone calls, internet. Breaking news!! Shutting down on construction at the gym. Medical bills pouring in. Job uncertainties. Baby crying. Breaking NEWS!!!! Mommy, help me! Delaying the gym altogether. BREAKING NEWS.... You can see how it gets stressful, no? I think you all get it. Whether your situation is similar or different,  the stress in this country right now is undeniable. By the end of the day I was drinking a very generous glass of wine. And even that delicious glass of vino couldn't calm my stressed out spirit.

Anyhow....strangely,  it's Thursday and this Coronavirus craziness is starting to becoming the norm. Funny how we adapt when we have no other choice. I don't think that we have seen the worst yet and I'm eager to get it over with. The kids haven't seemed to be affected much by this at all.  They have been happy to stay home. Scarlett does miss real school and her friends but staying home and sleeping in hasn't gotten stale for either of them yet. I suspect if school does not come back before could get ugly lol. For all of us. Scarlett asked why they weren't going back to school. I am pretty honest with my kids. I do like to shelter them from the fear of this world as long as possible, but in the same breath, I want them to be brave, fearless children that turn into strong adults. I want them to know how to face troubles and that we get through them, not giving up. So I told them the truth. There's a virus going around and it can make people very sick so we are trying to slow the spread of it by staying home. And in doing so, we get to spend some quality time together!? Isn't that fun!? And then they nodded unenthusiastically, Scarlett went back to her iphone, Maxwell went back to coloring and I sat by myself lol. I guess they can only do so much quality time with me ;)

Ty and I have been hard at work plugging away with the gym. We were going to be starting presales in a week but Coronavirus had other plans. And so now we push pause and pray it doesn't last too long.  Could you all just stay home and away from other people?!?!? TIA.
Staff is starting to come onboard with us. I did a lot of interviewing before Vera was born. I actually interviewed the night I was in labor!  lol. I just hired our manager. I'm getting very excited to continue this after we get to the other side of this. There is so much to do still so we continue to work on that through this all. Training and organizing fills up my "spare time" haha....spare time?? what is that?  Ty is still working his regular day job so I've been taking over gym details since I'm on maternity leave from my regular job. And thank God I am because Vera is proving to be JUST like her sister and is not a fan of sleeping. I actually anticipated this and was prepared for it. Still, it takes a toll on my body and mind. When I'm not feeling my best or rested, it's hard to workout, and in return, hard to feel my best. One big circle. But, I know it doesn't last and so I just use my maternity leave wisely and take naps when I can. Other than that, we are just making the best of our time inside together. Things are a lot easier when Ty is home to help me manage the 3 of them. The kids are eating healthier at home than in school and though I am not strict on school work for them, I've come up with fun activities for them to do while we waited for Scarlett's school to implement online learning. Scarlett started online learning with her class on Monday and Maxwell has been practicing his letters and numbers with some flash cards that I got him. He's learned more in the week home with me than he did in 3 months of preschool/daycare....not thrilled about that.

So....2020 has hit a plot twist. Rewind 3 weeks back and we were enjoying some time with Ty's dad who came out to visit us from NY. We spent some time at the pool, went out for lunches and dinners....and got to enjoy the beautiful weather that is here in Texas. Totally taking it all for granted, right? You just never know what life will throw at you. And most of it is out of our control. When things like this happen, I tend to defer to what I can control. And for me, right now, that is to keep preparing for when this all is over. I am putting plans in place for the gym, the kids, myself etc. etc.
We are all going through a rough time right now. That's a given. 
Some days, (like Monday for me) are hard to keep positive. Everything seems so out of control.
It is ok to have a day where you feel like you want to quit. It's ok to feel frustrated and vent to friends.  (I'm here if you need an ear!!!) It's ok to be nervous or even feel a little self-pity. Let yourself feel those things....and then the next day, get right back up, brush yourself off and move forward. That is ALWAYS how I get through hard times. I don't think it's healthy to not have a little bit of anxiety, anger or frustration. Those are normal responses. But we can't live in those feelings. So I let myself feel all the feelings....and then I figure out the next game plan. After Monday, I was back to the grind on how I can change things and the way I'm feeling. I'm overwhelmed with my to do list every day. Most of the things on my list are basic things and even those aren't getting done. I'm lucky if I get to get dressed or eat a meal. So on Tuesday I started writing down what I want to accomplish for the day. It's funny how writing things down has such power to action. Then I prioritize things and do my best to actually do those things. If I can't get them all done, then I won't be angry. I have an issue with that. I tend to feel like a failure if I am not able to do everything that I had intended. It eats at me and sends me into a state of feeling like I need to overcompensate the next day. I am recognizing that and allowing myself a break. I'm only one person. I cannot do it all and in this season, with my 2 month old baby, I need to take a step back and enjoy my time with her. Not let the craziness overtake my blessings. Because we do have so many of them, don't we?? Praying you all stay safe and healthy during this uncertain time. XOXO

Ok, now go get that glass of wine or cocktail. You deserve it;) 

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