Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Scarlett & Maxwell Take 4 & a letter to my babies.
My Dearest Scarlett,
You are such a blessing to life. The older you get, the more I realize what a wonderful little girl you are. I love that you want to cuddle me every night. Even though I don't like to make a habit of you staying in our bedroom, I can't help but to say yes because I see your little girl years passing before my very eyes and I'm terrified of the day that you will no longer ask me to sleep next to me. You are so very independent and bold. I never was that way. I admire that in you. You make friends wherever you go. On vacation, at the airport, walks, the stores... in your eyes, there is always someone to talk to and tell stories to. You love horses still. I think that will be a constant obsession for you throughout life. I think you will love horses into your adult years. Right now you also love the Land Before Time. This is such a fun thing for me because I loved the Land Before Time when I was younger. I had no idea there were 10 of them now...but I enjoy watching them with you.
I see you look after your brother and I know that you are just a good, loving soul. You nurture him and cheer him on when he does something new. You make him laugh when he is sad and play with him when he is bored. I often ask you to entertain him while I finish something in the kitchen or finish folding laundry or finish a business call. I know you are only 4 and if you decided you didn't want to help, you shouldn't be expected to, but you always do, just the same. You are an amazing little girl. I can't believe that you start Kindergarten in the Fall. Oh how the tears are hidden from you. I cannot fathom this. You were just my Baby Scarlett. I guess you will ALWAYS be my Baby Scarlett.
You DO remind me of myself in many ways. How you must do everything yourself. You rarely need help. And how you watch movies and then reenact them with your toys and imagination. I did the same thing. I believe you have a lot to offer this world and I can't wait to see what wonderful things you do. I hope you forgive me for all of the times that I seem overwhelmed or cranky. I try hard to be the best mother. There is no such thing as a perfect mother. I just want to make sure I do my best to NEVER let you feel alone or afraid, betrayed or put down. Yes, I punish you. Yes, I get angry and yell. But the discipline I give is reminding you to be respectful and to teach you that life is often not all fun and games. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like. You will understand this all too soon. Right now, just enjoy being little. Play, sing, be happy...cry and I will hold you. Hold your arms open and I will hug you tight. And always know that you are forever loved by Daddy and I.
My little boy of only 10 months. The time flies by quicker with each child that has entered my life. You are the sweetest boy I've ever laid eyes on. Your chubby little body cuddles close to me as you nurse and I can't help but wish that I more moments like this. You are growing at a phenomenal rate. At 9 months you are 26 lbs, and in the 100% for your weight. Your head is in the 97%!!!! But you are still small to me. I feel a piece of myself inside you and your sister. When you cry, I feel it tug at me. When you are sad, I feel it. When you laugh, my soul smiles. You love nursing. In fact, right now I am having a hard time keeping weight on...and I'm going through some hormonal changes that are giving me a run for my money. I am beginning to give you a bottle every now and then to keep up with your hunger. You don't seem to mind at all. Your sister started to wean around the same time and by a year old she was ready to transition to a bottle/milk completely.
You started to crawl at 9 months old. And shortly after this, two little teeth poked through. Then, just last week, you stood up by yourself. I foresee some walking in the near future.
I remember I pictured what you would be like as a boy when you were inside my belly. I thought you would be solemn and laid back like your Daddy. You have this face and attitude that tells me I was right. You are an old soul and your eyes are telling of that. You are a funny little baby. You look up to your sister in all sorts of ways. She comes home from school and the smile on your face lets me know that you two will be best friends throughout life. I can tell.
There is so much that I hope for you in this life. I could not write it all down if I tried. But it's here in my heart as I raise you and your sister. Lessons and love that are waiting to pour all over you both. Through the years, I hope to instill values and integrity into you both. Honestly I don't think that I need to do much but guide you both. I see clearly that you both are good souls and I know that you will one day be an amazing man just like your father. I see his love in your eyes. Those eyes that gaze up at me as I nurse you. The little hand that gently caresses my face as you drift off into sleep. I could not have imagined such a sweet boy if I tried....but you my Maxwell, are all sorts of love. Always know this.