If you add kid(s), work, cleaning, laundry and life into the mix, you would be surprised how little time is available for anything, let alone romance. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. My current reality. Ty works 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. Sometimes even 7 days a week. Lately, I am lucky if we get to have a full conversation. And that is sad to me.
I was doing some errands one day after I dropped Scarlett off at school. I drove by a large, colorful drive-ins sign, flashing upcoming movies. It was advertising for some old Halloween flicks such as NightMare on Elm St, BeetleJuice and Young Frankenstein. As soon as I saw the sign, something inside tugged at me to pull over. I couldn't tell you why but I followed my intuition. I sat there in front of this huge sign…..staring at the titles but not entirely focused on them. I was thinking of something deeper.
this night flashed wildly in my mind.
I could remember the way Ty smelled, how he looked at me as if I was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. There was this...fire between us. A passionate burning that nothing in the world could stop.
I often relive moments like this.
The ones I never want to forget.
I probably looked ridiculous sitting there in front of this big sign listening to the song above and reminiscing it all.
I didn't care.
But here we were, 4 years and a few months in and I can't remember what it felt like to have that passion.
And I hate that.
Ty is amazing and wonderful and he would do anything to make me happy. The only flicker of dullness is that we let life push us into that rut where we are living day by day, forgetting about the fire that once burned so strongly between us. We let the busy antics of life dim that flame. I think this happens to many relationships. But I'm not one to let things go. I can't just wallow in past memories. I want that love and passion that filled us back then to fill us now and in the future. My spirit is much too wild to be idle.
I picked up my phone and text Ty,
"Ask your father to watch Scarlett this Saturday night. We've got plans."
Of course he wanted to know why and what and etc. I told him to just do what I asked. I made reservations to a restaurant for two and then packed up our fold-out-sofa mattress, a bunch of blankets and a couple of pillows. Friday night came and I got dressed up to the nines. I wore my 12 inch heels like I used to do. Okay, maybe they were 4 inch heels. We dined in a dim-lit room just like we did on our very first date. He looked exactly the same.
A little mysterious.
I'm sure I was chattering away as I did that first night. He just stared at me in that quiet manner, observing and taking it in. After dinner we walked through the city laughing so hard I think I cried! But it was the drive ins that truly brought us back. There in the back of the same truck with blankets and pillows, we laid next to each other in front of a big screen just like we did way back when. And when I kissed him, it felt like the first time…...
It was perfect.
I don't know the secret to a successful marriage. Hell, a few years ago I didn't even believe in marriage.
I don't know what it takes to make it last 20 years or a lifetime together.
I don't know what things in the future will try and break us.
All I know is that 4 years ago I fell so madly in love with this man that I gave up everything I had ever known to be with him. 4 months ago I told him I would love him forever and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Love him. Date night is not just a night out with your significant other. Especially for those of us in long relationships. It's like a chance to revive the spark and bring back the fire.
There is no such thing as an easy relationship, or an easy marriage.
To make love work, just like anything else, I think it will always take drive. passion. and lots of date nights. ;)
You can read how Ty and I began Here.