Monday, July 8, 2013

The Married Life.


I wondered what I should expect after the wedding was over. You know, everyone says that once you get married everything changes. While I think this mostly relates to those who aren't living together before marriage or those that are still in fairly new relationships, I still had my thoughts on how it would feel to be a married woman. And well, life is pretty much the same. In fact, I feel a lot closer than even before. If that is possible. My name change is going to take some time to get used to. Even though growing up I was the little girl swearing to her Daddy that she'd never change her name for a "stupid boy", I kind of like having the same last name as my husband...and my daughter. Pulls us together and labels us family.  People tell us that now, everything will change! It's funny that people who don't even know us drop assumptions so quickly. Truth is, back when Ty & I first met, a lot of people told Ty a lot of things about me that weren't the nicest. Some of them true, lots of them weren't. And they said that we'd never last because we jumped in too quickly, I wasn't girlfriend material and blah blah blah....the list went on.

Yes, we are only 3 1/2 years into this. Does that matter? No. We knew from day one that this was worth something. We knew that we wanted all of it, no matter how difficult it may be. After spending 10 years in a previous relationship, I am pretty well aware of what I want and what I want to do without. So we dismiss those small remarks with a smile. Just like back when they said we wouldn't make it, we smile at each other and go about loving.

It seems like a new chapter in my life is just beginning. I feel excited! I didn't feel any post-wedding blues as I initially thought I would. There is so much excitement and thrill leading up to the wedding that I was sure I'd feel a little down when it was all over with. Kind of like I do every year after Christmas. I was surprised that I was mostly just relieved!
Scarlett and I hung out by the pool a lot. One day we relaxed in our pj's all day watching movies while the rain carried on outside and another day we went downtown with friends. We walked around carelessly, fed the ducks and rode the carousel. It was nice not to have to worry about wedding details or anything wedding related for that matter. I cleaned the house while Scarlett played quietly in her room and it felt oddly pleasurable to enjoy chores that usually are put off. Maybe it is because I finally have time to do these things that I've been longing to do for months. I bought some new house plants & Ty helped me pick up some new luggage for our honeymoon. We went to a friend's birthday party, took a trip to the circus and even took Scarlett on her first kayaking trip. We have just been enjoying life.
In September, or sooner our lives will change a bit. I will be starting a new job and Scarlett will be starting preschool. It sounds strange that my two year old will be going to preschool. I think back to when I was young. School before 4 years old was unheard of. I never even went to preschool. But times are different. Scarlett is craving knowledge and interaction. I can see it when she goes for play dates or when we visit her school. She wants to be there. It makes me really sad to think that I will no longer be staying home with my little baby. My little baby that isn't really a baby after all, but a little girl. Since she's been born, I have been by her side 24/7. For over 700 days, I have been raising this baby into a child and now, just like that, she will be off to school. I know that it will be best for her. That and I'll be able to help bring in some money. Maybe we can save up for some fun vacations! Knowing all of this still doesn't keep my tears away. Sometimes when I'm by myself writing (like now) I think about these things and I cry. Tears that say "Slow down Scarlett, don't grow up so fast." and tears that speak, "The baby days are slipping away....." The only thing that helps to subside these aches are knowing that her toddler years are just as exciting and she is doing new things everyday.

Yesterday, at bedtime, Scarlett asked to sleep on the couch. I told her no. Then she asked to sleep in "Mama's bed". While I do let her sleep in my bed occasionally, (I actually love it when I can cuddle her in our bed) I don't want it to become a habit. I want her to like her own bed, too. I told her no again. She stood next to her bed with pouty lips and teary eyes. "Please Mama?" She asked. "You have to sleep in your bed, Scarlett." The thunder outside roared and Scarlett looked up to me with fearful eyes, "A storms comin' Mama." I nodded, "Yes, but you don't have to be scared." I assured her. She hugged her blankie and with the sweetest little voice said, "Mama, I scared of storm." I wrapped her up in my arms. I held her close and smelled her sweet little Scarlett scent of hair detangler and baby skin. "Don't be afraid Scarlett, the storm is just passing through. Should we say good-bye to the storm?" She nodded and yelled out, "Bye storm!" After that, she got back into her bed and was out like a light. My precious, little babe. How she melts me day after day.

As you can see, married life is exactly like our life was before, filled with Scarlett and living each day moment by moment. I can't say what the future will hold. I can't tell you that we won't have struggles or hard times. I'm sure we will. But for now, we are enjoying our summer and our new life together. Enjoying these days that Scarlett and I spend all week together and relishing in our title of Newly Weds. So many exciting things to come!!! We can't wait to share them all with you....









5 comments:

  1. Love this, think I'll go hug my babies now! :)

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  2. Oh gosh.. I almost cried just READING this thinking about my own little girl that will soon be starting preschool.. I've always stayed at home with her and have NO IDEA how I'm going to handle this.. our little girls are growing up... ;)

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