Saturday, July 7, 2012

Late Night Thoughts.

"Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
...Shake it out."

I was listening to Florence and the Machine the other day. 
The song, "Shake It Out" stuck with me.
I've said before how music is a large part of my life. What I mean when I say that, is that it has helped me through some pretty dark times. Some pretty rough days.
The lyrics above, sum up a situation I was in, recently. 
I agree with the part, "I like to keep some things to myself". Therefore, I am not going to share that part, however, just because I don't voice every intimate detail of my life, doesn't mean that I don't have my share of struggles or hard times. I do.
They may differ from others, but they are there.
This post, is for anyone that is struggling. Struggling with something...anything. And as alone as we may feel, I can bet  that the majority of you are silently raising your hands as you read this. We are human. We all have times when we feel down, defeated, sad, hopeless and scared. The comforting detail is that you are not alone.  The truth is, we are all damaged in some way. We all have faults and problems, things we are ashamed of and insecurities. We all struggle. I think there is something important about being kind to strangers. You never know what that stranger is suffering. They may smile even though they are hurt, sad, grieving...or aching. 

   People walk by you everyday. You may nod your head and say hello. They might smile back. What we don't know, is their sadness. Their hurt or suffering. People do not wear name tags that say, "My name is _________, today, I am struggling with _________." But they very well may be.

     A little bit ago, I was going through something. And the days seemed dark and hopeless. I felt defeated. Worn down and alone. I smiled and went about my days. But inside, I was hurt. And I realized something as I was walking through a sea of people at the store. I realized, that there are many of us that do just this. Ty is more perceptive than I am. He sees things that I miss. For instance, while walking through the store, he'll tell me that one woman said, "She has the prettiest hair, I wish I had her hair." Or he'll over hear a girl say to another at the pool, "She is hot, I wish I looked like her after having a baby." These compliments are very gracious. And yet they had no clue about what I was going through. They had no idea that I would give anything take away the pain that I was enduring in that moment. They had no clue that I would look at others and say, "I wish I could truly smile as they are, today."
That is the problem with many of us. We look around and see what we don't have. We find that in others and think the grass is always greener. But this is not the reality of it.
     You are not alone. When you feel lonely, remember that we are all children of God and that we all have struggles and problems. I just want to tell all of you, that if you are sad today, or scared, or hurting or defeated...I want you to go to sleep tonight knowing that you are not alone. And tomorrow, wake up in the storm,  knowing that you can adjust your sails. You can. It is as easy and as complicated as that.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I guess if it does, than you are one of the many that I am talking to. This is what was on my heart tonight. And if it helps just one person, than I am thankful. I'm heading to bed with these lyrics in my head, 

"And I've been a fool and I've been blind
                                         I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn"

Take a listen to this amazing song. Goodnight friends...

Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine on Grooveshark
(Don't forget to pause music at the bottom of the page if you would like to listen.)



  1. this is a really beautiful post. I really enjoyed reading through it! thank you!


  2. It's very true, we all have our struggles and more often than not no one can see it. It's the main reason I choose to be kind to people who maybe aren't so kind to me. I have no way to know what they are going through or what they are feeling. Good post.

  3. As I wipe the tears from my eyes and type, I'm lost for words....Bless you and Thank-you.x

  4. I am sitting here bawling like a baby doing the hyper ventilating breathing because I was just crying and crying out to God in shame feeling like I failed him in my most important assignment from him my most important purpose for my life he has given me begging for his forgiveness and he leads me to u and this post I can't even finish reading it I had to type to u and say thank you and please lift me up God bless u and your sweet family I am not alone thank u so much LaurenGod Bless u God Bless u God Bless u

  5. Absolutely love that song! Did you see the Glee version? Usually, I wouldn't recommend an alternate version of something already great but it is SO good. It was an awareness episode to prevent domestic abuse. Here's the link! As always, you're gorgeous & I love how heart felt your posts are. Love the honesty. Have a great Sunday evening :)

  6. Your words are so real and raw. I am teary eyed after reading. It is so true...that we all have our demons that sometimes we can't shake. One of my friends and I say it all the just never know what someone is going through. I love the way your pour your soul into your writing. Your honesty is refreshing! And those strangers are do have gorgeous hair and are one hot mama...with a wonderful heart! You'll be in my prayers! I hope the week is good to you!

  7. Thank you for this post and this song. I am struggling right now too and I keep it inside. Its nice to know that you are not alone, when you feel so very alone.

  8. This song fits me + my life right now more than you could know. I have this cd, but never really paid attention to the words.


Thank you for all your comments & kind words!! I reply in the comments section so check back if you have a question :) xo