Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Excerpts From Diary: Heartache

  Corner of Your Heart by Ingrid Michaelson on Grooveshark
(Corner of Your Heart)

Excerpts from a Diary Archive
Copyright © 2010 Lauren Hutchinson

I can't forget...
I feel you.

"I mean....something is immensely wrong when I wake up to cars beeping at me in the middle of an intersection because I was stuck in a daydream; trying to comprehend that I would never have you in my life again. It's not right to relive that moment when you said, "It's not the same without you." and I replied, "I'm not coming back". It's not right to relive it over and over again until it drives me insane! It's stupid to write messages just to delete them or dial numbers just to hang up.  Something isn't right when I am afraid to fall asleep every night because you might be there... waiting for me in my dreams.

         It's not normal that I don't eat because the hunger pains distract me from the unbearable aching in my heart. Something is wrong when I can't look at your picture without breaking down. It's not right that I drink to forget you but all I see at the bottom of the your face. When does the pain go away? When is the sadness over? They say time heals. This clock has come to a stand still. They tell me you are hurting, too. I'm so sorry for this pain that I've inflicted. I had to set myself free..."

"...I have never known heartache like I do in this moment. It is soul eating. It is crippling. I want to crawl up in a corner and fade....
But I can't. 
I have to get up. 
Move on. 
Learn to love again. 
Let it heal my heart. 
I know this. 
You are gone. There is nothing left to remind me of you anymore. Yet I feel you still...."  

     "....If I could tell you one more thing, I would say: I hope you know, that I really did love you with all of my being. I laughed so hard with you. We fought like there was no tomorrow. We knew each other like the back of our hands and above all else, we had love. The greatest thing on this earth. You were a great chapter in my life. It was a comedy, a romance, a horror lots of times, but a very dramatic biography of us. I want you to know, that closing the chapter of you in my life, was truly hard..."

I don't remember you like I used to...
 I can't feel you like I used to. 

"The hardest lesson I have ever learned: sometimes, someone can live in your heart even when they cannot stay in your life...."


  1. Hopping over from the "find some love fest".
    I really liked this. I don't know the back story with it, but it 100% sounds like me my junior year of college. I had a really really REALLY rough break up that I wasn't sure I was going to come out of.
    I still dream about him sometimes..
    But I've found someone so much better, and married him :)

    Following now!

  2. Wow! I love this post! Incredible truly. Thanks for linking up with us at the Find Some Love Fest!!

    All The Love In The Universe

  3. So true! We have had so much fun with the Find Some Love Fest link up! It's a great way to connect and support fellow bloggers.
    We are following you and would love for you to visit our blog.

    Jayme & Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings

  4. i just stumbled upon yout beautiful blog, and my jaw is on the floor. you are so lovely, girl and this post about heartache touched me. i understand EXACTLY how you felt. thank you for being honest.

    i look forward to reading more!



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