(Corner of Your Heart)
Excerpts from a Diary Archive
Copyright © 2010 Lauren Hutchinson
I can't forget...
I feel you.
It's not normal that I don't eat because the hunger pains distract me from the unbearable aching in my heart. Something is wrong when I can't look at your picture without breaking down. It's not right that I drink to forget you but all I see at the bottom of the bottle...is your face. When does the pain go away? When is the sadness over? They say time heals. This clock has come to a stand still. They tell me you are hurting, too. I'm so sorry for this pain that I've inflicted. I had to set myself free..."
"...I have never known heartache like I do in this moment. It is soul eating. It is crippling. I want to crawl up in a corner and fade....
But I can't.
I have to get up.
Learn to love again.
Let it heal my heart.
I know this.
You are gone. There is nothing left to remind me of you anymore. Yet I feel you still...."
"....If I could tell you one more thing, I would say: I hope you know, that I really did love you with all of my being. I laughed so hard with you. We fought like there was no tomorrow. We knew each other like the back of our hands and above all else, we had love. The greatest thing on this earth. You were a great chapter in my life. It was a comedy, a romance, a horror at times, but a very dramatic biography of us. I want you to know, that closing the chapter of you in my life, was the hardest thing I have ever done..."
I don't remember you like I used to...
I can't feel you like I used to.
"The hardest lesson I have ever learned: sometimes, someone can live in your heart even when they cannot stay in your life...."