Thursday, February 9, 2012

Then & Now

Then, I was the girl who was consumed with "me".
I was searching for something that didn't even matter.
I was the girl who didn't realize how lonely I was.
Then, I worried about what I would do on Friday night.

I was the girl who never cried.
I was the girl who only smiled on the outside.
Then, I couldn't see who I was, let alone see anyone else.
I was filled with emptiness.

Then, I hated every moment of the heartache.
Then, I was the girl who always had a drink in her hand.
  I was the girl who couldn't be appeased.
Then, I was praying for something....anything.


Now, I am calmer.
I am wiser...

 I understand myself better, even though I still confuse myself now and again.
I am the girl whose heart belongs to a baby girl.
And now the only thing that I worry about, is that the time I'm given with loved ones,
won't be long enough...

Now, my eyes fill with tears every time I look into my beautiful baby's eyes.

I am filled with hope & peace.
Now, I see myself and I like who is in the mirror. 

Now, I am consumed with love.
I am the girl who embraces even the heartbreaking moments.
Now, I realize there will be moments of pain.
Now, I pray to thank God for all I have.

Now...I look back and see how much I've grown.
Now, I am the girl who smiles on the inside & out.


  1. This is wonderful. So raw and truthful! I love it! So beautiful!

  2. I love this. You are so brave for sharing this. Your family is beautiful :)

  3. This is wonderful. I can SO relate. Thank you for sharing this post with us! I found you through The Wiegands. :) ~ Dawnee New follower!

  4. Beautiful! Love the realness of it all! Thanks for sharing your heart.

  5. It is good when you come to the place that you smile inside and out!!!! You have such a lovely family!!!!! Keep on smiling!!!!! Sara

  6. What a way to relive your past with out going down that road again!!! Love is real and its an amazing feeling, hold it tight and close to your heart!!!!!!!

  7. This is a wonderful post. It is honest and creative. Great job. I am a new follower. I am excited to hear more of your journey.

  8. What a beautiful post! It's amazing to read your honesty about then and now. So glad to see you happy now. You have a lovely family :)

  9. beautiful post... i've been there... many of times... thanks need this! new follower

  10. good for you girl. it's so wonderful to look back and see how much personal growth has happened.

    and ps your baby girl is too adorable!


  11. i love this post. i have been there. and its a heartbreaking & overwhelming experience coming to realize who you really are and want to... and it takes certain moments in life to discover that... honesty about your pain, loneliness, screw ups and new found joy in life, always captures the attention of the readers. thanks for your transparency! your beautiful. =)

  12. love this story. so raw so vulnerable so true! Now I get your other linkup! Your mr. fireman was for sure your soulmate! Now so is your beautiful baby! awesome! now I love your blog even more lol!

  13. This was a very good post. You appreciate 'now' even more because you had your 'then'.
    That is my experience any way.

  14. beautiful post!! love your honesty!!

    Jenna Duty

  15. New follower :)
    Love this post. So honest and open.
    Glad to hear you love yourself now :)

  16. People always wonder why I choose to hang out at home with just my hubby over going out, and I smile because I am content and happy with life, while they are not ;) You go girl!

  17. Thank you for writing this! I found you on the Wiegands! I cried as I read this post! This is ME! I just dont have the ability to put it in to such lovely words! Keep blogging <3 Amanda

  18. Hi lauren today I was checkin some of your post and find this one, and it make me cry cause I relate to this story I was soo lonely and know I AM IN LOVE! with my boys and yes being a mom and just having my little family of 4 make me so happy, so thankyou for sharing your hear

  19. Ohhhh Lauren!!!! Wow!!! You echo my story completely! Honestly that was me to a T before the birth of my children!! Thank you foe sharing this post! We are kindred spirits:)


Thank you for all your comments & kind words!! I reply in the comments section so check back if you have a question :) xo