Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Secret To A Great Relationship

Do you want to know what makes a relationship last? I will tell you my secret. My secret to a lasting, happy relationship: Find a guy who is wonderful. (Lol)

Easier said than done, right? I know. That is why I count myself lucky everyday. Ty puts up with my moody days and my dramatic episodes. He is a much better person than I am. He is what makes our relationship happy. He makes me happy. Let me give you an example. The other night, I was laying in bed. I was thinking about how much your life changes once you have a baby. Everything changes. Mostly for the good. But somethings, not so good. I thought about how two years ago, me and Ty didn't even know each other. Now, we have a baby. A lot can happen in a couple of years. 

   Then I started to think about how we used to be so into each other. So passionate. Don't get me wrong, we still are. We are as much in love today as we were when we first met. It's just that there has been so much going on in our lives lately that we have neglected to keep the passion fiery, so to speak. It's hard to balance things. Ty comes home late from work.  We have to eat dinner quickly, Ty showers, plays with the baby, we put the baby to sleep and by that time, we are both exhausted.
 I have various struggles in life, but the bedroom, is NOT one of them. Time is the issue in that equation. There is not enough time in the day or night for that matter. That is how life is, sometimes. It's not always peaches and cream. Sometimes things go fabulous and sometimes you have to try harder. 

I was laying next to Ty in bed and I said, "Remember when we went to the drive ins and laid in the bed of your truck and didn't watch ANY of the movie that was playing?" Ty replied, "How could I forget?"  
 "Those were the good old days." I said.( Ha ha ) He looks at me, "What do you mean, those were the good old days?" I answered,"Well, it's 11 pm and we are in bed awake....doing nothing." He replies with, "We can do whatever you want, baby." I yawned thinking about how Scarlett will probably be up in 2 hours. Ty yawned thinking about how he has to get up for work in 6 hours or less. I snuggle up to him feeling as exhausted as he was, I'm sure, and we fell asleep.

The next night, Ty comes home from work. He walks in the door and doesn't shower. He doesn't start dinner or sit down to relax. He walks up to me and kisses me. As I wrap myself around him to hug him, he picks me up and brings me to our room....

That right there, my friends, is why our relationship works. Not because he gives me love when I need it. But because if there is a problem, he solves it. If there is an issue, he addresses it. He pays attention to every little detail in our relationship. That is super attractive. Not to mention, it is what keeps us alive and very much in love. I strive to be more like him.
So, some of you aren't in a good relationship? Some of you are not in one at all? No worries. If you are alone, remember, everything happens for a reason. Some day, you will meet your own "jogger" jogging by your house. If you are dealing with heartbreak, remember this.......
If you are in a relationship and things aren't going that well, work on it. Communicate with each other and tell each other your wants, needs, & how things have to change. If they don't change, if they are that bad, then maybe that isn't your place in life. 
Easy for me to say, you ask? I spent 14 years in a relationship with someone who I was very much in love with. But things were not good. We were all wrong for each other. Like Rihanna's song, 'we found love in a hopeless place'. We did. We tried for a very long time. Too long. Eventually, you realize that someone can stay in your heart even when they don't belong in your life. 

Sometimes, you don't realize that there is a happier place out there for you, because you are stuck in the current relationship. I was there. I know. Don't give up hope and PLEASE don't settle. Take a chance and find your perfect. Once I stepped outside my ex-relationship, things were tumultuous for quite some time. But my ex and I are both in happier places now, because I did. 
Like I said, there are going to be ups and downs in any relationship. You know in your heart if they are worth working on or not. Don't lie to yourself. Be honest and don't waste your time if you are in a hopeless love. Let me tell you, the place I'm in now, is the happiest place I've ever been. I could never have imagined 3 years ago, that I would be where I am today. We may have trials or tribulations but they make us who we are and they show us how strong our love really is. 

All in all, the secret to a great relationship is no secret at all. It's common sense really. Find someone you are compatible with. Find someone who is good to you, worth the fight, worth the tears and worthy of your heart. Once you have found that, the rest comes easy... 


  1. i needed to read this... oh the story i have....

  2. I really loved this post. The line " Find someone who is good to you, worth the fight, worth the tears and worthy of your heart" made me tear. Beautifully said!

  3. Hi, I just found your blog through Sincerely Arizona and boy am I glad I did. You are so inspiring. As I snooped through your many blog posts I found this one. Even though it's been a while since this post I found it very uplifting. I to spent 17 years of my life with someone that wasn't the right person, we moved on and I fell madly in love with my husband. We have a 3 year old little angel, Kinsley and we couldn't be happier but yes, we too are exhausted at the end of the day and tend to put our "bedroom life" on the backburner. I stay at home with her and my husband is a Martial Arts Master and owner of his 15 year old creation so that consumes a lot of energy as our daughter does with me. Anywho it was nice to read your post and know that we are not the only ones and that it truly takes 2 to make things work even being madly in love. Thank you so much!



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